There Are No New Old Friends – Part 5

Facing Down Cowardice

If my fleeting first belief had been to leave good memories untarnished, my second was that that could never happen.

It’s wholly wrong to imagine I can somehow freeze a friendship at some past point. I’d be trying to fool myself that I’m the first person in eternity who can stop time.

To realise that, however briefly, I had thought about trying to preserve the past is a glimpse into my ever-present cowardice and selfish stupidity. But that’s all it is.

It’s not as if I don’t know that my friend’s death is looming. I can’t pretend otherwise. Just as certain, I know my good memories will prove stronger than any awkward final meeting or any sadnesses.

I know my memories of a strong friendship will survive.

And I can only despise my chronic foolishness in worrying that facing his death will tarnish anything.