When A Decent Man Dies

(Trying to work out what to do when someone died unexpectedly.)

A decent man’s gone.

A man I only knew a little died unexpectedly today. I heard about it through a mutual acquaintance.

Perhaps it should be no big deal for me. Judge it a shame. Say he’ll be missed. Beyond that?

Beyond that, I’m feeling far sadder than I’d have imagined. Perhaps shock makes an unexpected death sadder, I don’t know.

Beyond that is the relentless fact that there is nothing else for me to say or do.

The one thing death can be sure to do is emphasise your utter lack of power. There’s nothing I can say of any significance whatsoever. There’s nothing I can do to undo how things now are.

And … And I can’t even think an original thought. I’m not sure I can even manage a clear thought. There is a small comfort in finding other friends are equally at sea. For all of us, he was a decent man and appreciated as such, and …

And now a decent man’s gone. The best I can do is try to follow the example he set, try to learn from the things about him I admired.